Break Your Heart to Save Your Soul
by Just-Absolutely-Super
Summary: She can't love him.


**AN: **I think everyone and their mothers use that quote for fic titles, but I needed something DEEP and MEANINGFUL!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

* * *

_"It was our love that did this to the world..."_

She can't love him.

She _shouldn't _love him.

Ladybug watches as Chat Noir moves away from her, his eyes downcast at yet another rebuff of his affections from her. Her insides twist. She hates this. Hates that she has to hurt him yet again.

Hates that she has to continue to lie to herself about her ever-growing feelings for him.

She ignores them often enough—after all Adrien still takes up a lot of space in her heart—but lately she can't stop thinking of what ifs.

What if her feelings for Adrien finally dissipated and she gave into the love she held for her partner?

What if she threw all caution to the wind and allowed herself to return her Kitty's affections?

What if she just admitted to the world that she really _did _love Chat Noir and wanted to be with no one else but him?

But she can't.

She shouldn't.

Because she knows what will happen if she did…

_"It was our love that did this to the world..."_

The future Bunnix showed her put a stop to any "what ifs" Marinette had.

She is a superhero, the new guardian; she has a duty to uphold. She can't afford to falter when it comes to the safety of Paris.

But in that future—that awful, terrible future—she _did _fail.

She had failed Master Fu.

Tikki.

Her parents.

Her friends.

Paris.

_The world!_

But most importantly, she had failed _him_—her partner, her other half, her Chat Noir.

Somehow he had been akumatized. For what reason, Marinette still didn't know. But the domino effect had been clear as to how it came to be and that was the reveal of her identity.

In that timeline, Chat Noir found out who Ladybug was and he loved her. All of her. Being Marinette didn't dissuade his pursuit of her in the slightest. And somehow, Ladybug gave into the temptation she always pushes away to the back of her mind. She fell for him too. And if what Chat Blanc said could be believed, they were _happy_. Until Hawk Moth used that love against them apparently…

_"It was our love that did this to the world..."_

After the future was safe and Bunnix sent her home, Marinette had made her final decision: she can never allow herself to love Chat Noir. Never allow herself to reveal her identity to him. Because if she were to, then it would lead to the demise of the world.

The resolve gives her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach but she brushes it all away. It's a ridiculous thing to get sad over. The rules were simple about their identities, they could never know. Also, she loves someone else (Marinette believes she may _always _love Adrien). And her and Chat Noir being an item wouldn't be ideal. They're superheroes, _professionals_, and adding a relationship complicates things. She knows this for a fact.

But then she recalls Chat Noir's smile. How giddy he gets when he tells a particularly good pun. How warm and kind a person he is. How safe she feels when he pulls Ladybug into his embrace after saving her from an attack. And she recalls his eyes and how much _love _she sees in them whenever he looks at her. It makes her insides turn to mush and then the what ifs start again. Honestly…how could anyone _not _love Chat Noir?

She can't continue to lie to herself—she and Chat Noir have always had _something _there between them. She has just always chosen to ignore it in favor of her pursuit of Adrien.

Loving him would be wonderful…

However…

_"It was our love that did this to the world..."_

After inheriting the Miracle Box, Marinette decides to discuss time travel with Fluff, and the fear of her actions leading to a terrible timeline. Fluff tells her that the future is not always set in stone and that certain events can lead to certain futures, but similar actions cannot always cause the same reaction.

It gives Marinette _some _hope, but overall, she doesn't want to risk it. In her mind an identity reveal would lead to her and Chat Noir falling even more in love with each other. And their love would lead to Chat Noir suffering and being akumatized.

She doesn't want that to happen.

_She can't let it happen._

So she continues to keep her distance. Continues to love Adrien and use it as an excuse for why she can't love her partner the way he (and she as much as he hates to admit it) wants her to. It breaks both of their hearts, but it has to be done. For the good of the world…

Ladybug continues to tell herself this as she watches Chat Noir leave her—heart broken again from rejection. She knows sooner or later he'll give up on her, move onto someone who _will _love him without fear of an apocalyptic future. This knowledge makes her nauseous but she ignores it. It's for the best…

Sighing, Ladybug stands up, leaps home, drops her transformation, and buries her face into her pillow to cry.

_"It was our love that did this to the world..."_

Their love destroyed the world...

She can't love him.

But _God_, does she want to.

* * *

**AN: **Wrote this because everyone has to write a fanfic based on the Chat Blanc episode. Also, we need more fanfics where Ladybug is in love with Chat Noir. I get my fill of Adrien falling for Marinette, now I gotta get my fill of Ladybug falling for Chat Noir that isn't Marichat (nothing against Marichat, I just get oversaturated with it, y'know?).

Anyway, enjoy and review if you liked it!


End file.
